


Hypercholesterolemia is a Really Long Word

by omen1x2



Category: JYJ - Fandom
Genre: Crack, M/M, Medical, Medical Kink, Smut, WTF, Weirdness, pharmaceuticals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-11
Updated: 2012-05-11
Packaged: 2017-11-05 04:24:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/402401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omen1x2/pseuds/omen1x2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaejoong’s the new pharmacist, and Yoochun’s jaw seems to be permanently attached to the floor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hypercholesterolemia is a Really Long Word

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Was having the hardest time memorizing the drugs I needed for my next quiz, when my best friend thought it might be a good idea to incorporate them into a fic to help. (Me: *has no idea how to incorporate Atorvastatin into a fic* It’s for hypercholesterolemia. *later* I take this as a challenge.)

“But uizanim! Why are you changing my medication? My diabetes is much better with the old one!”

“I’ve already explained to you,” Yoochun said with a small sigh. “This is merely a slightly stronger version of your old medication. It’s still a form of metformin, it’s just newer and a little better.”

“But what was wrong with my old one?”

“Well, you weren’t taking it, for one. Your diabetes is acting up again.”

“But uizanim…”

Yoochun resisted the urge to rub at his temples. It was going to be another one of those days.

~*~*~*~

“Oh! Yoochun sshi!” A high voice, trilling with excitement and nervousness, made Yoochun pause and turn, gritting his teeth.

“Yes, Lee?” This particular nurse had been following him ever since she started working, and he had yet to manage to shake off her cloying advances. Her insistence at continuing to call him by his name also irritated him.

“Have you heard?” She looked positively delighted that she had managed to acquire his attention. “There’s a new pharmacist downstairs!”

Oh, lovely. Office gossip. “Really? That’s interesting.” He grabbed for the nearest file at the nurse’s station and checked it over, in order to convey the idea that he really was too busy at the moment. He blanched when he realized that someone had actually prescribed Lisinopril for an admitted, pregnant patient’s hypertension, and quickly changed it over to Hydrochlorothiazide, and wrote a rather scathing note for the doctor. He’d likely get in trouble lately for looking over a file that wasn’t his, but at the moment, he truly did not care.

It wasn’t until he set the file down that he realized Nurse Lee was still speaking. Or rather, gushing. “And his _eyes_! Oh, I’ve never seen anything like them. You could just get lost all day gazing into them… And then his _mouth_! He has such a perfect mouth! All the nurses have noticed that every now and then, he runs his tongue over his bottom lip. He must be really orally fixated…”

Yoochun was rather too aghast at the moment to realize that Nurse Lee had actually come to rave about another man at him, and then couldn’t believe that she was actually being so unprofessional as to actually rave about _any_ man at him.

He finally managed to cut into her monologue. “Lee, I really don’t think this is appropriate.”

Her eyes widened and Yoochun wondered if perhaps he had overdone his stern tone to her, but she squeaked out an apology and then disappeared. And truly, that was all he wanted anyway.

~*~*~*~

Heading down to the hospital pharmacy with a handful of 'scripts in his hand, Yoochun couldn’t help noticing that the small window seemed much busier than usual.

“Um, excuse me?” he asked in some confusion as he tried to make his way through the throng of women to the pharmacy window. “Are you all here for prescriptions?”

It was then that he noticed that most of the women seemed to be nurses, and even female doctors, with just a few housewives thrown in. What on earth…?

“Oh, are you needing prescriptions, uizanim?” A soft, beautiful voice emanated from the window.

Yoochun glanced inside, and immediately understood what all the fuss was about. He stood there gawking, taking in the man’s wide, velvet eyes the color of melted chocolate, pale, snow white skin, dark, feather soft hair framing perfect cheekbones, and a mouth that was positively made for kissing. He felt rather poleaxed as the new pharmacist (because this certainly _was_ the new pharmacist; there was absolutely no way he’d have missed noticing this man before) shooed away all the hovering women with unwarranted gentleness and gave Yoochun a smile of absolute sweetness. “How may I help you?”

“I. Uh.” _Would like to ravish you,_ his mind helpfully supplied, and he mentally glared at the thought until it scurried away. Sadly, no other thoughts seemed to be forthcoming, so he just thrust his 'scripts through the open window and continued to stare.

“Oh, _you’re_ Park uizanim?” Yoochun shivered at the sound of his surname rolling off this man’s tongue. Honestly, what was _wrong_ with him? He never acted like this at work. “I’ve heard so much about you!” The smile that the man beamed at him (for there was no other word at the sudden ray of sunshine that smile emitted) had Yoochun stumbling to make his tongue finally start working.

“None of it’s true, I promise.”

“Oh?” The pharmacist’s eyes twinkled in amusement. “So it’s not true that you’re one of the best doctors in the hospital, or that at least half the housewives that come in here with their children would be more than willing to jump into your arms?” At Yoochun’s flush, the man gave Yoochun a penetrating look that could only be called seductive. “Somehow, I highly doubt it.”

Yoochun’s mouth was suddenly dry, and he had to wet his lips before he finally managed to speak again. “OhwellIdon’treally…” He winced. Truly, he would have been better off keeping his mouth shut.

“Don’t worry, Park uizanim,” the pharmacist purred. “I’ll be sure to take extra special care of your prescriptions.” He finally turned those eyes away from Yoochun long enough to type in each different prescription, and Yoochun found himself distracted by yet another piece of the man’s anatomy, because truly, those _hands_ …

He realized the man was speaking to him again, and shook his head. “I’m sorry, what?”

Smiling, the pharmacist murmured, “I was just wondering if you wanted to renew Kim Daemin’s Alprazolam? He’s due for a refill, and we would certainly hate for his anxiety disorder to become an issue.”

“Oh. Um, yes.” He’d just spoken with that patient a week ago, so there was no need to call him in for a check-up prior to refilling his prescription.

“Also, it looks as If Choi Sunhwa sshi has not refilled her Metoprolol, even though she was due to get one over a week ago. Would you like me to call her?”

Yoochun’s eyes widened. If Choi Sunhwa had stopped using her hypertension medication suddenly, he certainly needed to speak with her. “Yes, thank you, I would appreciate that. I’ll also give her a call myself as soon as I return to my office.”

The pharmacist flicked a soft smile at him. “I thought you might. Other than that, it looks like you’re just wanting these filled, correct? I’ll have them done in just a few minutes.”

Sucking in a breath and feeling his cheeks reddening, Yoochun murmured, “You really don’t have to rush.”

“No, but I would like to. We can’t have any infections spreading in your patients without their Azithromycin or Amoxicillin, can we?” His eyes lowered almost shyly, but Yoochun noticed the way they yet again slid over his body.

“I think you just want to keep me here a bit longer,” Yoochun said with a playful grin, and leaned forward on the counter.

“Perhaps I just take my job very seriously, uizanim,” the pharmacist purred in reply.

“I’m quite sure that’s true, but I also doubt you usually get doctors their Omeprazole just so a patient with an ulcer can have their medication in ‘just a few minutes.’”

“Perhaps not, but perscriptions for Oxycodone or Hydrocodone could be quite serious indeed.” As he and Yoochun flirted through the window, the pharmacist turned to his shelves and began skillfully grabbing each medication.

“You sure did memorize those quickly,” Yoochun mentioned after a few minutes. “Didn’t you just start today?”

“I know my Atenolol from my Amlodipine,” came the catty reply as he returned to the window with a tray full of small cups with pills and passed it through the window over to Yoochun.

“And I suppose you don’t have any technicians to help you, hmm? Did they all leave?”

“They wouldn’t stop staring at me. It was unnerving, so I sent them on rounds throughout the hospital. I’m afraid you’ll just have to deal with me.”

“I would think you’d have plenty of experience being gawked at…” Yoochun paused and looked at the man expectantly.

“Kim Jaejoong. But you are more than allowed to call me Jaejoong.”

“And you can call me Yoochun, Jaejoong sshi,” Yoochun said with a smile as he turned away.

~*~*~*~

Later that evening, Yoochun finally managed to finish with the last of his patients, both admitted and in the clinic. He briefly considered just clearing off his desk and falling asleep right there. He’d been working for over fourteen hours, and he truly couldn’t imagine driving home in this condition, but he had very little choice. With a deep sigh, he pushed himself out of his chair with his hands and prepared himself for an exhausting drive home, but a bed at the end of it _would_ be worth it.

“Excuse me, Park uizanim?” a soft voice asked from the open door, which, even in his exhausted state, caused a thrill of anticipatory arousal down his spine.

“I thought I told you to call me Yoochun, Jaejoong sshi,” Yoochun said in a low, tired voice and a soft smile as he looked up at him through his eyelashes.

Jaejoong blushed. “Yes, I’m sorry. I just… I thought I spotted a… a problem, and wasn’t sure who else to talk to.”

“A problem?” Yoochun frowned. A problem in the pharmacy could be any number of things, but the most obvious caused him to say, “I’d love to help you, Jaejoong sshi, I truly would, but any drug thefts should really be reported to the administrator.”

“No!” Jaejoong’s eyes were wide and surprised. “Not that kind of problem. I just… I was checking over the prescription entries my predecessor had made, and something kind of jumped out at me. It seems that… Nae uizanim has a thirteen year old patient that he’s treating for bronchospasm with an albuterol inhaler. Which is fine, of course, but he’s also treating her OCD with Sertraline… and he doesn’t have her on a suicide watch.” Jaejoong licked his lips, and then plowed on. “When I tried to talk to Nae uizanim about it he just blew me off and said to not stick my nose in, and that everything was fine. But still…”

“No, you very much did the right thing, Jaejoong sshi,” Yoochun said, coming around the desk and placing his hand on Jaejoong’s arm. “Thank you. I’ll go make a notation in the system right now, and also call the child’s parents.” He paused, and then gave Jaejoong a much less tired smile than the one he’d given earlier. “You’re something else. I’ve never known a pharmacist to care about people to the extent you do.”

Jaejoong blushed and looked down at his feet. “Thank you.” Glancing back up, he seemed to take in Yoochun’s sunken eyes. “If you like, I could drive you home after you make the call. You seem like you could fall asleep at the wheel, in the state you’re in.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong,” Yoochun said with a short laugh as he grabbed his cell. “Do you have the number?”

As Jaejoong discreetly handed him a small piece of paper, and Yoochun tried to pretend that a shock didn’t go up his arm at the small contact of hand on hand.

~*~*~*~

Yoochun couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of the beautiful creature driving his car. He probably ought to take the opportunity to rest, but the idea of blinking and missing a single moment seemed like the worst kind of travesty.

After giving Jaejoong his address and making small talk for the first few minutes of the drive, Yoochun had the pleasure of seeing the pharmacist actually laugh sincerely for the first time, and he nearly burst from the joy of it.

“You aren’t anything like any of the other pharmacists I’ve ever met,” Yoochun finally said.

Jaejoong glanced over at him. “How so?”

“Well, you’re just so… caring and warm.” He decided not to mention Jaejoong’s looks, since the man would have probably been unique in any profession he’d chosen, just from those alone. “Almost every pharmacist I’ve ever seen just throws the pills out and forgets all about it.”

“One could say as much for doctors,” Jaejoong replied calmly. “Do you know that every patient that came to see me after one of your appointments just couldn’t stop talking about you? Not just about your looks, although I got plenty of that too, but about how you really listened to them and genuinely wanted to help. One young lady, I’m sure you remember which one, even mentioned how she’d apparently had Hypothyroidism for over a year and her doctors had never caught it, despite her mentioning every time how bad her salt cravings had gotten. And yet it only took one appointment with you, and you knew right away to prescribe her Levothyroxine. She was positively radiant as she sung your praises.” Jaejoong flickered another glance over at Yoochun. “I have to say, I was rather intrigued. There are quite a few doctors at that hospital, and yet you were the only one that I kept hearing about. Even the nurses couldn’t stop talking about how handsome and kind you are.”

By now, Yoochun was a brilliant shade of red. He cleared his throat a couple times, trying to speak.

“And here we are,” Jaejoong said calmly as he parked the car.

Yoochun stared at Jaejoong, and then glanced back towards the elevator to his building, and then glanced back at Jaejoong again. He licked his lips, intentionally experimental, and saw the way Jaejoong’s eyes captured the action. “Would you like to come up?” 

Jaejoong sucked in a breath, eyes darkening. “Aren’t you tired?”

A slow smile spread over Yoochun’s face, and Jaejoong watched that too. “No, I suddenly feel wide awake. You better come up and wear me out, or else I’m going to have to resort to my Zolpidem again.”

It wasn’t until they were in the elevator that Jaejoong finally thought to ask, “Zolpidem?”

Yoochun laughed around his tight chest. They were both leaning back against the wall as the elevator climbed, and they weren’t even _touching_ , but he still felt Jaejoong’s presence in every pore. “Really, Jaejoong. Does sexual anticipation make you forget all those years of schooling?”

“I… no.” Jaejoong tried to scowl, but it was an obvious failure. “I’m just surprised that you would need it.”

“I’ve had insomnia since I was a kid.” Yoochun watched the numbers above the door. “Somehow, I really don’t think that will be a problem tonight, though.”

“Oh?” Jaejoong’s voice is lilting, curiosity and something else at war in the playful tone. “Does sex usually cure it, then?”

“No, not usually,” Yoochun replied as the doors opened.

~*~*~*~

Jaejoong slammed Yoochun into the wall as soon as the apartment door closed behind them, his kisses all tongue and teeth and absolutely the hottest kisses Yoochun had ever experienced. Jaejoong was pressed completely against him, body hot through layers of clothing, and when Yoochun growled, low and hungry, he could _feel_ Jaejoong’s full body shudder.

“Oh, _fuck_.” Jaejoong tore his mouth away, and they stood staring at each other.

“The bedroom’s down the hall,” Yoochun finally said, and Jaejoong’s pupils dilated further, either at the implication or his tone.

Jaejoong dragged him closer and latched his teeth onto Yoochun’s neck as he slowly walked backwards down the hall. “I cannot believe how sexy your voice is,” he growled, and just as Yoochun started to smirk, Jaejoong tripped over the hallway table. As Yoochun’s smirk threatened to grow into a full-blown laugh, Jaejoong glared up at him and rubbed his head. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but you were _thinking_ it.”

Yoochun really did laugh as he reached down to help Jaejoong stand.

Jaejoong scowled. “Well, so much for sexy, then.”

“No, I disagree,” Yoochun replied, his laugh softening into an indulgent smile as he reached over to rub the back of Jaejoong’s head. “You’re very much still sexy.” As Yoochun bent closer to kiss him, he could feel Jaejoong’s lips curve into a smile.

“So you like seeing me be injured, then? Kinky.”

~*~*~*~

Yoochun couldn’t remember the last time he had someone in bed with him as playful as Jaejoong. They laughed and taunted each other as they decided on a position, and they teased as they discussed who would do what.

Jaejoong nipped lightly at the back of Yoochun’s knee. “I think _I_ should top because you’re obviously a girl. Just look at that hair!” As if to emphasize his point, he pulled back and reached up to slide his hand through Yoochun’s hair, pulling it out of his extremely rebellious ponytail.

Yoochun distracted him with a kiss. When he felt and heard Jaejoong’s satisfied hum, he pulled back and replied, “And I think _I_ should top because you’re just too pretty to be a man.”

“My muscles are bigger,” Jaejoong scoffed.

Yoochun ran his hands down Jaejoong’s shoulders and over his arms. “Mmmm, true enough.” He bent his head to bite at one shapely bicep. “Your voice is higher.” He deliberately lowered his own as he leaned forward to whisper in Jaejoong’s ear. “You know you like it.” He expected the full body shudder this time, so when it happened, Yoochun shoved Jaejoong to lay back on the bed and straddled him. “I win,” he said, grinning down at him.

“You are a horrible cheater, Park Yoochun,” Jaejoong gasped as Yoochun ground into him. “But I suppose I’ll put up with you for the sake of sex.”

“You are a true saint, Kim Jaejoong.” Yoochun nearly pulled the drawer out of his bedside table in his hurry to get at his lube and condoms, and he could feel Jaejoong’s chest shudder with a suppressed laugh.

“Next time, I top,” Jaejoong said with a soft kiss. “I promise _I_ won’t make a mess.”

Yoochun distracted him by uncapping the lube and coating his fingers. Reaching down and gently circling Jaejoong’s entrance, he replied, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, baby.” He relished the way Jaejoong gasped and threw his head back as Yoochun’s fingers pushed in. “You already made a mess in my hallway.”

Jaejoong muttered something, and Yoochun missed it entirely, too busy staring down at the utterly hypnotic sight of Kim Jaejoong spread underneath him, naked and moving his hips wantonly against his fingers. “Fuck,” Yoochun whispered, and then cleared his throat. “Sorry, what?”

The man underneath him sucked in a breath, and then strong arms were circling his neck and pulling him down for an intense kiss, before lips were sliding over to his ear. “I said…” Jaejoong said, hoarse and gasping, “to shut up and _fuck me_.”

Yoochun could not get to his condom fast enough. He cursed as he tried to reach for it and it slid between a fold in his blanket. Finally managing to grab it, he ripped it open with his teeth and rolled it on, and then realized that the lube seemed to have disappeared. “Fuck, FUCK. Where…?” Looking around desperately and absolutely _not seeing it_ , and Jaejoong cursing emphatically underneath him to HURRY UP and Yoochun felt like his mind was going to explode… Finally, he saw that it had fallen over the side of the bed, and he smacked his head against the open drawer as he threw himself down and grabbed for it. He couldn’t even feel the pain through the intensity of his arousal, and it took Jaejoong worriedly asking if he was all right for him to even realize it had happened.

“Not important,” he replied hurriedly, and spread quite a bit of lube onto his erection before finally, FINALLY kneeling between Jaejoong’s knees and pressing in.

Shaking uncontrollably, Yoochun paused to allow Jaejoong time to adjust, but Jaejoong kept pulling on his hair and thrashing his thighs uncontrollably. Over the pounding in his head, he finally realized that Jaejoong was alternately cursing and pleading in his ear with a voice so blown with lust he couldn’t even recognize it. “Fuck move already please Yoochun please move fuck FUCK I can’t take this Yoochun please Yoochun PLEASE!” This last was shouted so desperately that Yoochun could no longer ignore it, and he began to thrust his hips slowly, so tantalizingly slowly. 

Jaejoong’s near sob of relief made Yoochun’s chest constrict painfully, and the speed of his thrusts increased before he even realized it, until the increased pleasure finally penetrated his brain enough for him to recognize the cause. Jaejoong’s legs clamped around him and fingernails clawed in his back, and everything was so good, SO GOOD, that it took every ounce of strength he had to move a hand, wet with sweat, from bracing against the mattress to wrap around Jaejoong’s leaking erection.

“Oh, _holy shit_ ,” Jaejoong breathed desperately, and sought Yoochun’s mouth for a brief, soul-stealing kiss. “Fuck, Yoochun, I can’t…” Jaejoong’s nails gouged into Yoochun’s back and Jaejoong’s mouth latched itself onto Yoochun’s collarbone, biting back a long groan as he came and Yoochun pressed his nose into Jaejoong’s damp hair, lips touching a perfect ear and came so perfectly with him.

~*~*~*~

“Good morning, Park uizanim!” The new pharmacist said cheerfully. “How may I help you this morning?”

Kim Junsu uizanim frowned. He’d been waiting patiently in line, and really could not understand why Park Yoochun should be able to skip to the front. No one else seemed to mind, or even notice, but his patients could be just as important as Park Yoochun’s, and there was really no need for the unnecessarily long haired doctor to receive special treatment. Even the nurses seemed to love him best.

“Good morning, Kim sshi!” Park Yoochun replied, just as cheerful. “I just have a few 'scripts so far this morning.”

“And you came to deliver them in person! I’m so honored.”

Kim Junsu frowned. There was something about the underlying tone to the words… was it sarcasm? Perhaps the two didn’t like each other as much as they appeared.

“I have another patient that seems to have hypertension, so I’ll need some Furosemide for him.” Park Yoochun started flicking through the papers in his hand. Was the man really going to stand there and read off all his prescriptions? Couldn’t he just hand them over and leave, so the rest of them could get a turn?

“You certainly do seem to see quite a few patients with hypertension, Park uizanim,” the pharmacist said pleasantly. “But I’m certain you will be able to help them with that. I remember how well you managed to assist me with mine.”

Oh, so was Park Yoochun the pharmacist’s doctor too? Ch’, it just figured. He certainly did seem to be everyone’s darling.

Wait, were Park’s ears turning red?

“Potassium chloride refill for Baek Eunae’s Hypokalemia,” Park Yoochun continued. “And some Simvastatin and Atorvastatin for the last of them.”

The pharmacist tutted, “Oh, Hypercholesterolemia? Those poor people.”

Kim Junsu rolled his eyes and quipped, “Ugh, what the hell? It’s not like they have cancer!”

Park Yoochun and the pharmacist turned and frowned at him.

“Really, Kim uizanim,” the pharmacist said reprovingly. “I don’t think that’s necessary. There is absolutely nothing funny about cancer.” With that, he turned back to Park Yoochun, and the two continued their ridiculous conversation.

Kim Junsu threw up his hands and decided to give up. Honestly, his patients could fill their own damn prescriptions. He turned to walk away, but couldn’t bring himself to do so.

Right.

Turning on his heel and heading right back towards the pharmacy window, he shoved Park Yoochun aside and thrust his 'scripts at the surprised pharmacist. “You two can continue your stupid pharmacy-babble-fuck-talking, but in the meantime, you can take care of this too.”

Satisfied, he turned and beamed at the entire room and the world at large, and left, leaving two shocked and blushing men behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahahahaha, man, I do not even KNOW. Goodness knows this was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever written, but hopefully this helped me learn my damn twenty drugs, and hopefully this didn’t bore the rest of you to tears (I threw the sex scene in there precisely so you poor readers would feel like reading this would be the slightest bit worthwhile). If people didn’t actively hate this, and if this actually helps me with my quiz on Saturday, then I actually might do this again next week, with my next twenty drugs I have to have memorized. Maybe. XD


End file.
